the white struggles to prevail
Saturday 22 February 2014
Thursday 16 January 2014
Sunday 30 June 2013
Thursday 14 March 2013
Tuesday 26 February 2013
Thursday 7 February 2013
Friday 1 February 2013
Wednesday 30 January 2013
Tuesday 29 January 2013
Tuesday 22 January 2013
Monday 21 January 2013
Thursday 17 January 2013
Tuesday 3 July 2012
The Anatomy Lesson
plucking
stringing
my raw nerves
brings so much
comfort
between the clawed walls
of others.
Lungs filled
with the grey haze of
self-pity
strain
to keep me
afloat.
I clutch at any numbing
excess -
never enough
for this mammoth
body
/
brain.
A stroke
to crucify
my neurons
with mercury blows
- it never comes.
Wednesday 14 December 2011
Equilibrium
I've lost You
when I was born -
I've been
recovering
shards of You
ever since
everywhere -
especially
when I touch bliss
barefoot
You find my heel
& enter me
sharply.
You glitter
on every road,
that's why
I have to keep
walking,
to let You nest
in my flesh.
When it will rot
and fall away,
You will arise
shimmering,
whole -
Your presence,
my absence
our climax
an eclipse.
II.
I've lost you
ten years ago -
you've been with me
ever since.
A decade of leprosy,
watching you flow
through my fingers
tainting my skin
with your snow-white
(threefold) denials
every night
- no longer keeping count.
III.
I've lost you
the moment I had you
a year ago.
Erasing the days
has become so hard -
no sweet amnesia,
my sleep brimming
with tigers.
I offer my flesh
to appease them
'round midnight.
And yet the darkness
hides more peace
than the thrashing
light of day
when I become
a battering ram,
a blunt shatterer
of porcelain masks
& dreams.
I lead my life
from breath to breath
from shard to shard -
piecing together
your absence,
my presence.
s
Tuesday 23 November 2010
Mandala
I listen
to the rain
and the midnight
sweepers
brushing away
the debris
of the day.
I taste
the bitterness
on my lips
& swallow
the absinthe
of your absence.
I inhale
the smoke
of my Gehenna,
letting it fill
the void
in my lungs.
I see
my reflection
in the darkened
window
and rejoice
in the stranger
smiling back.
I touch
all the places
you have claimed,
lulling myself
to sleep
& stretching
to the ends
of the night.
a
Tuesday 16 November 2010
Indika
This is who I’ve become –
slowly
& exquisitely
spinning the yarn
of time before time
submersed
in golden clouds
of incense,
draped
in silks
of red and purple.
Under the tilted
saffron moon
- your all-seeing eye
showering me
with the awareness
of your every heartbeat -
I bask & glow
and redeem
my forefathers,
diving back to my roots
into the blood before blood
the tide before tide
thickly throbbing
with the heat & dust
of thy/my land.
My body sways
to the caressing
sound of the sitar
- my palms open
to receive the
p(e)ace and grace
of the heavens
that touch the ground
Here.
This is what I've become -
a lightning rod,
a crossroad,
another pinpoint
of communion,
a silk thread
tying the skies
to the earth
& bringing them closer
with every breath
I draw,
into the holiest
of marriages.
a
a
Monday 15 November 2010
Balkanika
This is who I am -
kin after kin
of dark faceless
shepherds,
bearded flute-playing satyrs
mating on the wet grass.
From their grunting
& panting
came we -
strong arms
to tend the sheep
& hold the hot-headed rams
and bury the hatchet
in the skull
of whoever threatened
our lineage.
This is who I am -
effigy after effigy
of silent women
with knitted brows
and knotted flesh,
whose milk and sweat
blended with that
of their sheep
in an all-pervading
rut scent.
Taken on the hay
in drizzle or hail,
in times of peace or war
from their tears & shrieks
came we -
tender arms
to milk the ewes
& dry the newborn lambs
all for a better life,
all for the offspring.
Dark
silent
nameless
nomads
sliding on the slopes
of the mountains
where gods would
roam and rage
against the meagre
mortals
- we step on their skulls
& spit on their bones,
we feast and dance and drink,
for we shall see the sunrise!
a
Friday 12 November 2010
Mar adentro / Sea within
a
I drink
the amber wine
of oblivion
- its acid erasing
the fingerprints
you left on my body,
its sweetness
intoxicating
my lewd brain.
Slowly,
the cry of the peacock
fades away,
no longer arousing
the tide of my blood
on moonless nights.
As the caravels
leave the port,
so do my memories
depart
one by one
towards better futures
or a spring of scurvy
& curses.
Forever exploring
the seas where dragons lie
- what better way to wake them
than to rattle
the crooked relics
of all my losses?
Forever treading
the jungles where tigers lurk
- what better lullaby for them
than the songs I'll hum
to my unborn children?
I let the conches
I walk on
tear at my flesh
- they are much gentler
than the miles between us.
By air, sea or land
we are so apart,
so distant,
that they'll have to
give new names
to our oceans & straits.
I circumnavigate
with hope
- once started
my journey
will end
on your shores -
my sails torn
my masts broken
my crew all dead
my deck a-creaking.
Only my lonely toll
will call
out to you
over & over again.
a
Fado curvo / Twisted Fate
I burn with you
- the sweetest fever
contorting my senses,
spiraling me down
into Saudade:
the deepest
longing &
solitude
that I cannot contain,
but which hold & rock me
ever so gently.
I sit & drink the sea,
the waves washing against
my gargantuan throat.
The pebbles
I carefully pick
to weigh me down,
the shells of
empty words
set aside -
I shall
never speak
again.
My heart bleeds
on the cruel strings
of Moorish guitars
in the port of Lisboa.
The dark, endless
longing
spooling
my being
into silk cobwebs
with which
I weave myself
(yet) another cocoon,
warmly welcoming
the silent winter
of waiting.
a
Monday 1 November 2010
Point of No Return
The saffron
half moon
rising
leaves me
gasping
at the remembrance
of your sideways
midnight glance.
I couldn't read it first
- all the more now -
as its searing tip
pierces my side
again
& again.
The ineffable flow
from my heart
- as deep as the Ganga -
rushes down my thighs
just as muddy and wild
& not even the flute-player
knows what lurks
ahead / underneath.
I am the master of Naught
& I let the void devour
the uncharted hillocks
of my flesh
that you've impregnated.
When nothing remains
after this acid
exercise
of extinction,
you'll know
I love you.
a